Life After Baby: Creating Your Postpartum Map
We talk so much about birth plans. But how many of us are talking about a postpartum plan? So if you've read our blog on Birth Mapping, you'd know that we don't like the word 'plan' in birth because it leads people to believe we have to stick to it. And that's just not the case. (If you haven't thought about Birth Mapping, take some time to read that blog.)
So back to the postpartum plan, I mean Postpartum Map. How much thought and energy have you been able to put toward preparing for what life will look like once your baby is born? Have you taken a moment to imagine what you’d like those first few weeks to feel like? Have you had a moment to consider how you'll feed your babe and what knowledge, skills or tools you may need? Have you had a moment to start thinking about how you'll balance the day to day duties of life while navigating your healing and bonding with your babe? Well we are here to help you with that!
What is a Postpartum Map?
A postpartum map is your guide to experiencing your introduction to parenthood and motherhood intentionally. The way that you want to experience it. It is dedicating time to become better aware of the potential roadblocks and detours that may be of concern. And also what routes you'll take should they take you off course. The map gives you time to process all the different avenues you can take before you are faced with them. It gives you the luxury of flexibility without the feeling of overwhelming (you've already thought about it and have an idea of how to overcome the roadblock). Ensuring that you are able to problem solve without worrying about how you'll function with minimal sleep, while caring for a newborn and for your own body as you recover.
Who is the postpartum map for?
A postpartum map is for those of you that
are a planner by nature
have support and would like to show them how to support you
don't know what to expect for the fourth trimester
are fearful of the unknowns of birth healing
want to put support in place for the possibilities
really it's everyone
When should they do it?
Before 35 weeks is the ideal time to have written down/considered/begun mapping your postpartum experience. It gives you time to find the resources necessary to fill the gaps that your family and friends may not be able to cover. It allows you to be prepared in case your babe decides to have their birthday closer to 37 weeks than 40-42 weeks. Also, it gives you the opportunity to get excited about meeting your babe! Sometimes those last few weeks of pregnancy can be daunting and this is a beautiful way to re-focus your energy.
How do I write one?
First, we start with considering what you would like your experience to be. Brainstorm with your support person. Do a brain dump. Dream big! Highlight the things you want to experience and also take some time to take note of the things you would like to avoid.
From there, you can establish your how. How can we experience those big dreams turning them into a reality? Are there any obstacles we can foresee that could prevent that from happening? In what areas do you need more support? Who do you need to support you? What knowledge do you need to gain that would benefit your experience?
Example
BRAINDUMP: You want your first month to be just you and your partner snuggled up with your baby. Basically a hibernation phase. You want to breastfeed, but not exclusively. You do want to pump so your partner can have a chance to feed the baby too as you don't want to use formula.
DREAMS INTO A REALITY: You do have family and friends that want to come over. But let's be honest, you don't actually believe they will be supportive of how you would like things to be done, nor be considerate of your sensitive and vulnerable state. Have not taken a breastfeeding, nor pumping class (you've seen your friends do it before). For a whole month, what responsibilities need to be taken care of during that time (cooking, cleaning, laundry, feeding animals, any upcoming events/appointments, etc.)? How does your partner feel about taking them over so you can focus on healing? Wait, you just realized you've never been with a newborn before. Will a month, just the three of you, actually be peaceful? Now you remember that you've also heard that babies can experience nipple confusion, is that a real thing? When should you start pumping? … and the list of questions and realizations begin to flow.
SOLUTION:
Make a list of the household duties that need to be taken care of and delegate them to friends and family willing to help. Asking them if they'd be open to helping you in one or two ways rather than telling them this is what you need them to do tends to be more accepted.
Let your friends and family know that you are having a babymoon at home so you'll be more in touch once it's over. The few people that you would like over will know when they are welcome over.
Attend a breastfeeding class that also covers pumping (most people don't know this but pumping adds a layer of complexity to the experience because you now need to fit pumping sessions into your day, plus the washing of bottles and pump parts; it doesn't decrease your time breastfeeding, it actually increases it in the early postpartum days.)
Attend a newborn care class to have your questions and concerns answered.
Consider hiring a postpartum doula for some demonstrations and tailored suggestions
Now that you've made a postpartum map, what should you do?
Tell your key support people about it! They need to know what your destination is and how to get you there. Start looking for classes that are aligned with your lifestyle, values and preferences. Schedule those connection calls so you can meet the people you may want to hire.
Not sure where to start?
Pregnancy and the fourth trimester was never intended to be done alone. Let's have a conversation! We will help guide you through your mapping experience. We give you insider knowledge of what life with a newborn can truly be like. We are your postpartum tour guide. Ask us those questions that seem silly but need to be answered!
Here are a few questions to get you started though.
How do you operate with minimal sleep?
How are you planning to feed your babe?
Do you know if you have any precursors for postpartum mood disorders?
Who will take care of your day-to-day household duties?
How would you like your first month with your baby to feel?
Overall, what are you most excited about experiencing?
What are your concerns about that trimester?
